I am so exhausted. My sweet son will be 11 months on Monday and I haven't slept a decent night in that long plus a few months. He doesn't nap long during the day either, so I wake frequently during the night and do not get a chance to rest at all during the day. To say this is taking it's toll on me would be a drastic understatement. For a brief moment I had some relief in sight. Two lovely young ladies from church were going to come by a few days a week to mind the baby while I caught up on house work, emails and hopefully rested a bit. Unfortunately it did not work out, but for one evening in 11 months I was relieved so I suppose it's not a total loss. I realize now that I need to find some help. My child just is not a sleeper, he's healthy and thriving and we've tired everything I'm willing to do but he will not sleep more or longer. This will change in time so for now to keep my sanity I must find another way. I will update as that journey progresses.
On a bright spot I brought the baby over to a wonderful friends house today for a swim, some conversation and lunch. It amazes me how I can feel so awkward around woman my own age but I can find a soul mate in someone closer to a young Grandmother's age. The company is always comfortable and relaxed, it is such a relief from the normal social toll. However I cannot complain to much. For the first time in my life I have close friends in my own age group of my own sex. I am blessed with two lovely young woman that have made me an active part of their lives and for that I am so grateful. Tomorrow the two worlds converge for some swimming, my contemporary soul mate and my "old soul" mate. That and the yummy cake I just baked are helping me keep all the other wear and tear in perspective. After all, that is what it's all about, life our drama and our joys are all in our perspective.